This past winter break has to be the most eventful holiday I have literally ever had! For starters I had only been back home for about 12 hours when I almost got KIDNAPPED (not really but it felt like it) and forced into a life of human slavery but these two men I had just met that evening. Granted that’s not how it happened but I shall reiterate that THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT FELT LIKE!

So at the end of my first semester in about June, I was given six weeks off. Casual holiday, I generally go home as often as I can no matter how short the holiday is so by this time it was not uncommon to spend the afternoon I fly back with my mother at a restaurant catching up. As we ate our afternoon lunch, which was at around 2pm, I was Facebook messaged by my friend who asked if I would like to join her that evening and watch a football match with these two foreign men who had just moved to the country a few months ago. I agreed cause I thought it was just a chilled night out with friends, I get to meet new people too; a general win-win on both ends. Anywho we get dressed and head over to their place.

My first impression of the two guys was that they were friendly, they are brothers. The younger brother was friendly and inviting and he kept the conversation going whilst the older brother completely ignored my existence. I wasn’t bothered cause you know, whatever man. So we watch the match, I catch up with my friend cause it was the first time we had seen each other in a while and the older Brother who we shall name Mr. X continued to play league of legends and occasionally looking up to scold someone in the room. The younger brother could speak good English but his brothers English was questionable. When I think about it now, I don’t understand how I could understand everything he said to me at a point. Anyway they’re drinking a bit and I find out we are going clubbing after the soccer match. I’m totally chilled with the idea cause I’m always up for a good night out dancing. So we proceed to get dressed and agree to take their car, it’s a Grand Jeep Cherokee.

The night started okay, we were driving towards the first club however we aren’t able to find it and by now Mr. X was heavily drunk, he was a bit unruly –trying to stick himself out of the sunroof- and an overall pain in the ass. We stopped at a gas station to figure out where we would go now seeing as the place we wanted to go to wasn’t happening and this is when the night started going to shit.
Firstly my friend was driving because the boys had been drinking; the younger brother doesn’t actually have a car so he doesn’t bother driving anywhere and gets his brother to take him where he needs to go; anyway Mr. X decided that he was now the one who will drive us to the new club we wanted to go to. I almost pooped my pants… This guy was drunk and he was insisting that we should let him drive. We tried in vain to get him to shut-up and get back into the car but to no avail. So WE HAD TO LET HIM DRIVE.
At this point I was starting to reconsider the direction of my life whilst this drunk man drove like a suicidal psycho. Was so certain I was going to die in that damn car! Whilst holding my friends hand, I had the revelation that if I died that night I would’ve only been in Johannesburg for about 9 hours… NINE! Imagine the headlines! “Physiotherapist student DIES in car accident after being in Johannesburg for nine hours”- I reviewed my life in those minutes as we neared the club. Thank lord we arrived in one piece where Mr. X thought it was hilarious that we were freaking out for no reason. Damn psycho; anyway we went in, danced, had a decent time at the club. I kept checking the time and at around 1:30am I decided that I was over it and wanted to go home. THIS IS WHEN MY ALMOST KIDNAPPING OCCURRED!

So my friend and I approach Mr. X and ask him to leave cause we were both tired and need to go home. He says no. We ask his younger brother to try reason with him, he tries and gets Mr. X to compromise and let us leave at 2am. We agree and continue partying. Two AM approaches and we ask him again if we can leave. He disagrees and this time it was a bit aggressive (the club sucked anyway so I didn’t even understand why he even wanted to stay). By this time I was irritated and tired, I had only been in Johannesburg for 12 hours after not sleeping much the previous night in Cape Town. We get into an argument with Mr. X and I begin to realize that he was being serious about not letting us go; he kept insisting that I [ME] have to stay over at his house in his bed! I was like OH HELL NO‼ There was NO WAY I WAS GOING TO GO HOME WITH THIS PSYCHO! But he kept threatening us, telling us that he would drive us home. This man was heavily inebriated, I was at one point concerned about his liver (which stopped after he wouldn’t let me go home). At some point he took my friends car keys (we parked at their apartment and took their car to the club) and we stayed another half hour where I was losing my shit thinking about how I’m going to be trapped in this man’s house cause he is a psycho who pretty much won’t let me go unless he gets what he wants. I was not going to be able to explain to my mom how this night turned out if I ever got home.

We finally leave, he let my friend drive home and I was sitting with Mr. X in the backseat. He was heavily intoxicated and swerving around with the car. I noticed that the contents of his pocket had fallen out and there lay my friends car keys. With sleight of hand, I grabbed the keys and slipped them in my bag. Thanking the heavens that the keys fell out, I texted my friend that I had gotten them. I could hear her heavy thankful relieved sigh. We arrived at their apartment and jumped into her car and drove away. I arrived at my house at 3am thanking the universe that I could get back home without being forced to stay over at a crazy strangers house!

The very next day my friend called me and told me she has to go over to their place; I began to wonder if she is crazy but I agreed anyway cause I was being a good friend. So we get to their place and the first question I ask them is why they thought it was cute to half kidnap us and laugh when we are losing our minds over it? THIS IS THE PART WHERE I WAS CERTAIN THAT I WAS DEALING WITH CRAZY PEOPLE because they both feigned ignorance in the first few minutes of our conversation and then proceeded to tell us that they gave us and option last night and the events that we described to them we all misinterpreted. I gave up, you know when your body just cant anymore? Yeah, I just couldn’t anymore. I let it go and accepted that these people need help.

The part that might confuse you and question my sanity is that I continued to see them after that day… [Read part 2 for more absolutely crazy adventures with these people]

With Love

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