Throughout my life, though my life is only 19-and-a-bit years long, I have had various encounters with Deadmau5 without realizing it. All these encounters have been irritatingly memorable, irritatingly so since I had no idea that all the songs that I was jamming too were actually made by Deadmau5. Only after an absolutely enlightening stroll around YouTube did I find that Deadmau5 had been appearing in my life since 2008 (Round about six years ago. Being in the 7th grade at that time, music had become a big thing with us, so was the prospects of entering high school, and being the seniors of our primary schools, kind of made us big headed. In that obnoxious “I know everything cause I have a –teen in my age”).

It all began with Deadmau5 & Kaskade – I Remember (posted on my blog under Video’s with Retro- Link to video).

“Feeling the past moving in
Letting a new day begin
Hold to the time that you know
You don’t have to move on to let go”

The Lyrics really spoke to me, having broken up with my first ever long term boyfriend (at the silly age of thirteen, long term equaled a mere six months) the words really meant something. I so desperately wanted to move on from him but I didn’t want to lose the friendship we had had before we became more. Torn, I ended up listening to this song on repeat till the answer came to me. It’s kind of comical that I had cared so much about it back then, when now I have no interest in friendships after a breakup. I had learnt to move on and let go between Deadmau5 songs.

The next song came along about a year later, Medina – You and I (Deadmau5 remix). Though this song came out in 2009, I only really started listening to it in 2010.

“Nothing left for me to say
There’s no more wicked games to play
It’s time for me to walk away
I am alright
I feel like I’m on a high
A new beginning that is my life
I’m turning to the rhythm of the night
I am alright”

The year two thousand and ten was quite the turbulent one for me. Relationship wise, life wise… actually everything wise. I honestly went absolutely crazy. Being fifteen and entering the 9th grade did not help for my ego, seeing as 8th grade kids were picked on for being new and 10th graders were seniors of high school, the 9th graders are kind of just … there… you know? In that odd not-really-old-enough-to-do-stuff but definitely old enough to be above the 8th graders. That was the issue. I believed that I was queen of the world, however as the year continued I was bitterly reminded that I was actually starting from the bottom and trying to work my way up. Depression and intense impulsiveness was a major issue I was dealing with when I encountered this song. The words (from the quote above) really helped through the most unsettling of all the events that happened. It shaped me into the woman I’m becoming…

Which brings me back into the present. For a while, Deadmau5 and I hadn’t encountered each other. It was an odd occurrence seeing as each year, when going through a major event, a really fantastic pick-me-up deadmau5 song would find me. However, as life likes to be hilarious at times, the pick-me-up DM5 song found me when I needed it the most. About a week ago, after a rather lengthy holiday where I spent all of my waking hours with the people I valued the most, I returned back to college and thereafter I began to miss home. My mother and sisters the most. Seeing as I came back a week too early, my emotions and I were not on the same page. I realized that, even though I had been at university for well over six months and spending almost 2 of those 6 months with my family, I had not missed them and home once. Not a single moment in those six months had I had the feeling of longing. I did not have the time to miss them, seeing as I was constantly busy. However, with the schedule change, and my lack of free time drastically changing, I had loads of time to remember how it was at home. I missed it… them… and that’s when the Deadmau5 song found me.

Deadmau5 ft Colleen D’Agostino – Seeya played on the radio a week ago, a few mates and I had gone out for drinks and on our way home the song played. I wondered who’s song it was. As per usual, the unreliable radio stations failed to mention the name of both the song and artist. I was utterly shattered at the thought of not being able to listen to that song again when one of my friends began singing along with the song. My heart skipped a million beats from excitement when I found out it was a deadmau5 song! The timeline of my deadmau5 life resumed.

“Behind the darkness there’s a sea of neon light
And maybe you think I’m sinking, but you just can’t get inside
Don’t try to save me when my mind is finally free
Cause I’d rather run my own world than face your reality”

The combination of the beat and the words touched me, in a weird way. It improved my mood but at the same time made me feel unhappy. The good unhappy… if such even exists. The entire album, While (1<2), play’s with my emotions. It has fantastic weird beats that make me want to cry and dance till I drop at the same time. I love it!

I patiently wait, every year for the next deadmau5 song to relate to me. It’s slow progress but progress I’m willing to wait out.

With Love

Retro

 

 

 

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